So, uh...what the hell?

I know I’m halfway around the world, and I know there are a million other things I should be more worried about than this, but I just can’t stop thinking about one thing:

Seattle Seahawks, what the hell are you thinking?

I don’ t know how to feel. On one hand I’m excited, because Sidney Rice is coming to town. So is Zach Miller. The former single-handedly beat me one week in fantasy football. The latter helped me dominate my league(s). [Until both championship games. I don’t want to talk about it.]

And who’s here to throw to them? Tavaris Jackson. The same Tavaris Jackson I’ve heard my grandfather complain about the entire 2010 football season. I mean the ENTIRE football season. “Where the hell is he running?” and “I wonder if he knows how stupid that was” were the two nicest things he said about him.

It’s ok though. We have “options” at quarterback. Option No. 2 (or No. 1…who the hell knows? Nobody’s really winning this game) is the great Charlie Whitehurst. I say “great” because just typing “Charlie Whitehurst” makes me depressed. I’m in a humid, dark room in Sierra Leone with a sore throat and babies crying all around me. This might just be what puts me over the edge.

I know Matt Hasselbeck was old(ish). At 36, he’s closer to 40 than 30. He’s also closer to 60 than 1, but who cares? People love Matt Hasselbeck. I love Matt Hasselbeck. People will rally around Matt Hasselbeck. Matt Hasselbeck demolished the Saints with a slightly above average receiving corps and an offensive line that was held together with silly putty. The large man across the street could probably be at least a third string offensive lineman on the Seattle Seahawks.

Now, Matt’s gone. Although if he had to go somewhere, I’m so glad he went to Tennessee, who I’ve decided have officially leap-frogged the Minnesota Vikings as my second favorite team. They may even take over the No. 1 spot and the dynamic duo that is Jackson and Whitehurst. (That sounds like the crappiest law firm ever. I hate this.) I only know four people on the team:

1.) Jake Locker (he’s all you really need to know. He’s the future!) 2.) Hasselbeck (he’s going to mold the future. Jake lucked the heck out. 3.) Chris Johnson (almost murdered my fantasy football team last year, then saved it a couple times; he’ll be ok this year though. Matt will whip him into shape.) 4.) Kenny Britt (I think he’s on the Titans. I’m not really sure. I feel like I’ve heard of Tennessee Titan Receiver Kenny Britt before, but now I’m having second thoughts).

The moral of the story is: I’m not going to miss much being gone for the first three weeks of the football season. I might not even check until I get back. News/scores are kind of tough to get here and I’d rather not know the Seahawks are 0-3 running the “Owlcat” (a formation they’ll develop with Jackson, Whitehurst and fellow All-Star/rock star QBs Jake Delhomme and Derek Anderson behind center). Again, why the hell not?

Of course, it’s always possible that the General Manager of a professional football team knows what he’s doing. Maybe it’s a strategy. Upgrade every position on the football field except the position that matters the most.

I didn’t say it was a good strategy.

I’m sad. I always envisioned Jake and Matt on the same team…only it was the Seahawks! Can you imagine Hasselbeck mentoring Jake, who will have Zach Miller and Sidney Rice as his go to guys for the next four years? The Seahawks could have made it happen. But they didn’t.

And now I’m sitting in Africa, typing this and trying not to cry. I had to go buy my first chocolate of the week because I was so sad. Which wasn’t the worst thing. Twix are awesome! So I guess this wasn’t a complete loss. At least not until the next NFL season starts.

Luckily, my fantasy football team will still be awesome. This year we’re going from 2nd to 1st. Together we can…win the Together We Can football league. Gramps, Chris, Swaney, Casey, KJ, Natalie, Chris’s Dad, and all the people I don’t know. It’s on! David’s back for 2011 and I’m promising more trades (at least trade offers), smack talk and victories than last year!

This took a weird turn. I wasn’t going to announce my fantasy football dominance when this started. But that’s how life is sometimes. You never know what’s going to happen. It’s always up in the air. You win some, you lose some.

Unless you’re starting Tavaris Jackson or Charlie Whitehurst at quarterback. Then you’re going to lose everything.